Help put words to your own grief and depression. Between the years of 1991 and 1992, I recorded by own healing process. It was a difficult journey and required many things of me, especially that of cooperating with the healing process. For all of my childhood and most of my adult life, I have suffered from crippling grief and depression which did not respond to normal techniques of therapy. In late life, I found two therapists, one after the other, who were qualified to help me with my set of spiritual problems. The result was the healing of my mind, soul and spirit. The ability to learn how to cooperate with them and this is what the book is about. The book records my thoughts, difficulties and life experiences which made healing so impossible for those many years. It also records the thoughts, images, and techniques that I used to facilitate healing and to maintain healing in these past several years.
Excerpts from the Book:
Week 26 – from “40 Flowers For Grief and Depression” 1995
M Quiet safety can be found in the garden retreat of my mind.
The garden retreat is that mystical place of untroubled silence, the Sanctuary within. It is my Holy Space where I come to enjoy the cool breeze of the morning, listen to the birds sing their song of greeting. It is my Sheltered Place where I can look up at the rolling clouds and speak to my God with peace. During that time, I can plant flowers in my garden: sweet p’s of patience, pardon, peace, persistence, piety, poetry, poise, praise, practice, prayer, and psalms. I can smell the sweet fragrance of the thornless roses. I can watch the lilies of the field and the grass without fear of tomorrow’s burning drought. I can experience the growth of my soul with wondrous awe and know the true fruit of the spirit will be ready in its time.
Week 34 – from “40 Flowers For Grief and Depression” 1995
T Spoiled children often cry, “I want, I want!” Maybe I, too, am a spoiled child, because sometimes I want, I want more than anything for God to rescind kindness to those who do me injustice.
What’s new in the earth? Nothing. The oldest cause of war is… “I want, I want, I want… – your land, your fortunes, your natural resources, your people and your treasures, and my people to be more legitimate than your people, so I will kill yours”. It seems the people of the earth want everything. People want revenge for what was done to them. If one person was killed they would kill ten in return, thus the need for an “eye for an eye” concept of retribution was developed so that atonement would not overshadow the original loss. And the nations of the earth still never learn. God’s friend, Abraham, said he was a stranger here, kind of just passing through the earth’s scene. I think I want to be than kind of person, too. I don’t want to be stuck in a system any longer that wants evil for evil. Jesus reinforced a system of “forgive and it shall be forgiven you”, but people don’t take that to heart. They continue to live as though everything they do is perfect and it is all of the other people who are wrong, especially if the others were caught at their wrongdoing and they weren’t.
Week 40 – from “40 Flowers For Grief and Depression” 1995
M “Thorns, Thorns how you’ve taken my life, Destroyed my vision, my hope of God’s love.” My soul is bound together by a crown of thorns, a garland of grief. I learn not to move, not to hope, and continually feel the crown of thorns choking Life from me.
Whenever I reached out for hope and pain relieving gentleness, it seemed the thorns pierced my soul even more. Because of my weakness, I despaired of any and all help which would alleviate the suffering? I questioned the integrity of my longing for anything which would alleviate the suffering and wondered if I really wanted health. Of course, I did, but sometimes the pain was often more than I could bear and the strength required to remove the thorns, too great for me. A gentle force from both inside and outside myself was needed to comfort my pain and help me to desire strength so that someday I would be able to live with my thorns. My inner guide of Wisdom began to educate me in the things my soul needs to gain strength and knowledge. More often than not, I pictured my soul being given sweet comfort, tending the thorns on my side and brow and with the gentle touch of a true mother and healer. Wisdom speaks with words of encouragement and solace and strokes the head with the only tenderness my body can respond to in this critical time. She speaks to me and says: “But There is hope,” Sayeth God, “A hope for joyous salvation”
